Ever since I signed onto Comcast’s online Digital Voice messaging system I’ve had minor success in actually receiving my voicemail messages (this amongst countless other problems with cable, installers, idiots who show up at our place or rather DON’T show up and tell their boss that they did, etc.). A year ago they told me that they were having problems with it and were “working on it”. 1 year later, it still only works 1/2 the time. Below is my online chat with Comcast Technical support and the ensuing ridiculousness.

robbie > once again, your piece of shit digital voice isn’t working and just keeps saying “retrieving”. This has been the problem all week.

Wina > Hello robbie_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Wina. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Wina > How are you?

robbie_ > I’m fine…

robbie_ > though obviously irritated.

Wina > So you can’t access your Voicemail online?

robbie_ > no i cannot. I haven’t been able to since last wednesday

Wina > I’ll be running also a health / diagnostic check on your account.

Wina > i’ll be checking your account.

robbie_ > just keeps flashing “retrieving”

Wina > Please give me three minutes for this issue.

robbie_ > This has been happening on and off since I signed up with comcast 2 YEARS AGO!!

Wina > I see.

Wina > I am sorry for the inconvenience.

robbie_ > it’s really ridiculous that comcast can’t fix these problems with thier IT department. I mean, it’s COMCAST!! You are the largest internet provider in the UNITED STATES! I’ve seen myspace pages that function better.

robbie_ > even this chat window doesn’t make sense, as I have to keep scrolling to the right to read your responses??!! Who came up with this concept for a chat window??

Wina > I do apologize for the inconvenience Robbie. I’ll check on my resources right now.

robbie_ > Who is behind the web development of this monolithic company? A muppet from sesame street? Seriously, it’s beyond pathetic.

Wina > I do apologize. No need to worry since we will give you a credit for this one. For the inconvenience that you have.

robbie_>What do you mean credit? Does that mean I get Comcast for free now?

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<Connection Lost>

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robbie_ > What is going on!??

Wina > Are you stil with me?

robbie_ > uh….yah.

Wina > I thought I lost you.

robbie_ > i rest my case.

Wina > I’ll be sending a hit to your system now.

robbie_ > okay…whatever that means.

Wina > This is to your refresh your account or connection.

robbie_ > So this has nothing to do with our modem or my apartment, but just something in YOUR system? As USUAL.

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<Connection Lost>

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Wina > Still there?

robbie_> Your company is a painful joke.

Wina > By the way, you can also try to make call to access your voicemail. Dial *99 and then the password is your last four digit of your telephone number.

robbie_ > yes. I know this. However, I am sometimes out of the country and need to be able to hear my messages. But thank you.

robbie_ > Any luck “hitting” my system? I’d hit YOUR system if I could, but unfortunately…

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robbie_>this is excruciating.

Wina > I can give you a Voice access number so that you can access your email while you are away.

Wina > To process this request, may I have the account holder’s name, service address, and account number please.

robbie_ > I’m not sure what you mean? the name is Robbie Conaway the address is (entered in my address), and I’m not sure what my account number is. the phone number is (my phone number)

Wina > If you don’t have the account number, may I have the account holder’s last four digit of the SSN please.

robbie_ > (my social security number)

Wina > This is your Voicemail Access Number: (gave me a number) and the Rate Center: CHICAGO75

Wina > You can just dial this number and it will prompt you with your voicemails.

robbie_ > So you’re telling me that I’m going to have to make a long distance call from another country to get my messages when I’m traveling?!

robbie_ > I take it this means that comcast’s voicemail doesn’t really work properly? or at least often?

robbie_ > or at all. for the last 2 years.

robbie_ > digital voice via internet that is.

Wina > It usually work. That is not long distance.

Wina > is it ok that I’ll try it here in my end to check your Digiatl voice online? However I may need you log in for this. I assure you that I will just try to check and isolate the issue.

robbie_ > Sure? go ahead.

Wina > May I have you Primary email address and your password please.

robbie_ >(my username)

robbie_ > (my password)

Wina > Thank you. I’ll try to log in now.

Wina > I was able to log in to your Voicemail. May I know the browser you are using?

robbie_ > I’ve used firefox and safari. Same problem I have a mac and they don’t have Internet Explorer

Wina > i see. can you try to clear the cache and cookies of your Firefox and safari browser.

robbie_ > hold on…

robbie_ > done. shall i try again?

Wina > Please log in to this site: http://www.comcast.net/digitalvoicecenter

Wina > before that close and open a browser then log in to the site I gave you.

Wina > Are you able to access your voicemail now?

robbie_ > I was. Only on safari though. Firefox still is flashing “retrieving” and nothing happens.

robbie_ > but I’m guessing it’s because I couldn’t close it down with you still on chat with me.

robbie_ > I did empty the cookies on both browsers.

Wina > Great that you were able to acess your voicemail now.

robbie_ > This happens to me ALOT pretty much 1/2 the time.

Wina > There must be an error with your Firefox browser.

Wina > We suggest that you need to download a new one.

robbie_ > please forward this information onto the “Geniuses” that built the comcast site. I’m sure they’ll get on it real soon.

robbie_ > 😉

robbie_ > It’s brand new. The LATEST version of firefox. I suggest you have YOUR guys recode for the new browser.

Wina > Yes. I do apologize for the inconvenience. This issue will be heard by the onsite higher Tech.

Wina > Ok. I’ll note that.

robbie_ > Thanks.

Wina > Your welcome.

robbie_ > have a good early sunday morning.

robbie_ > sleep in. you’ve earned it.

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