Is it really necessary for the voice mail services to tell us what to do after we’re done leaving a message? How pointless and irritating is it to have to wait while an automated recording tells us “…when you’ve finished recording your message, please press # or just hang up”?
“To waste more of your time, press star”.
Just hang up? Really? Is that all I have to do? All this time I’ve just been telling people goodbye and staying on the phone afterwards for HOURS until I have to go to the bathroom, or American Idol comes on. What would I do without you, oh wondrous master of the telecommunications age? Your soothing voice lulls me into a place of security and comfort. The way in which you completely waste a full minute of my time EVERY time I have to leave a voicemail for someone all day long for years now leaves me with a sense of belonging and nourishment.
At the very least, we don’t need to hear it ever again. We get it. We can press #, or we can just hang up. We can press # or we can…just…hang…the…fuck…up. I can hang up? Really? Thank you for that informative piece of information about our modern correspondence sytem.
And why the hell would I press #, if I can just hang up? What would be the purpose of me pressing # instead? So I can practice my digits pressing digits execution? How about I press # and then hang up? You know, just to be more thorough.
We’ve been hearing these completely unnecessary instructions for the past decade. Can we PLEASE move on now?
(When you’ve finished reading this article you can enter a new address in the browser OR continue staring blankly at this screen until you are incontinent.)